Should My Parents Move in with Me?

Making the decision to move a parent into your home is not necessarily as clear-cut as it would seem. A number of situations and questions arise that need addressing. It can be helpful to consider the following issues before the move is made:

Relationships

How will you talk to my parent(s) about moving?
How will my spouse and children feel about moving my parent(s) into our home and how will it change our lives together?
What things will be easy for us to negotiate in living together and what things will be hard?
What are the limits of your ability to care for your parent(s) at home?
How will your siblings feel?
Will your siblings be able to help care for your parent(s)?
Will your parent(s) friends come to visit at your house? Or will your mom or dad be dependent on your for all socializing?
What are your needs for privacy and alone time?

Adapting Your Home

Where will your parent(s) sleep? In your daughter’s room? Will you need to convert the den, build an addition?
What special devices do you need? Grab bars in the bathroom? Raised toilet seat, ramps, etc.?
Does your parent smoke or drink and will that be a problem?
Does your mom or dad have a pet? Can you care for that pet? How do you feel about that pet living in your home?

Money

What will the financial arrangement be? Should you charge rent? Will you have expenses that you’d like your parents to reimburse?
How will your siblings feel about the financial arrangement?
Will your work situation have to change, and if so, how will you cover the bills?

Time

Will your parent(s) need care during the day, and if so, how will it be provided?
How will you juggle your job, child care responsibilities, marriage and taking care of your adult parents?
When will you have time for yourself?
What kind of arrangements will need to be made when you go out of town for business or vacation?

Personal Care 

How comfortable are you with helping your mother or father bathe? Will you be willing to change an adult diaper?
Have you prepared yourself for what to expect when your parent(s) condition changes?
How is your health and will you be able to take care of yourself in addition to taking care of a parent?
Am you willing to accept respite care to get a break?

Every family situation is different. If you are facing these questions, LifeLinks can help you sort out the pros and cons of such a move and provide information and resources to make things easier for you and your family. Call or send an email if you’d answering these and other tough questions.